Thursday, January 14, 2010

Pee Like a Man

This post has too much information. If you are easily offended by people speaking of pee pee do not read. Really, I am serious, do not read any further.

I feel envy toward the males of our species who seem to have the ability to pee anywhere, to urinate freely whenever and wherever they choose. If this pregnancy is teaching me one thing, it is teaching me to pee like a man. As the weeks pass and the sprout within continuously beats upon my ever-distressed bladder, I am learning to drop trou when and more importantly, where, the need arises. This is quite the evolution for me (see When I am wrong, I am wrong) as I have since realized and embraced the fact that a port-a-loo is not a necessity, but rather, one can pee wherever there is a spot to squat.

Case in point: Last night Zach and I went running. It was the first time we had run together in quite some time, so he was not fully aware of my change in urinary mindset that this pregnancy has brought on. We laced up, I hit the ladies room at home prior to our departure and off we went! I did not even get ten minutes down the road when the need to pee struck again. Looking around there was not a bathroom or port-a-loo in sight, our gym was still another mile up the road. Zach, in his helpful manner, suggested that I stop at the gym, he would continue on the route and then I would run back the way we came and meet him where the intended route met up with my now amended route. With this change in plans I would have lost a quarter of a mile off of my distance. Obviously, this was not a possibility. Oh, how was this going to be resolved? Wait, what was that over yonder I spotted? An ever inviting railroad track and a well hidden ditch. What more could a pregnant running girl ask for? Zach was appalled, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made and I was relieved in all senses of the word. The small joys and wonders of pregnancy!

I attended my second prenatal yoga class this past Monday, and it was a bit better than the first class. Better because we did a few more demanding moves, a squat here, a lunge there, but I was still instructed to say hello to baby. I will be in New Orleans for the third class so I am on "say hello to baby"-break for two weeks, so no anticipated vomit in the throat for at least a week.

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